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I battle my mind everyday

I am scared to be left alone 

with my thoughts. I never 

liked caving in and facing 

myself in the mirror.  I 

struggle with this depression daily. 

The darkness keeps trying to 

engulf me. My smiles and 

laughter are beautifully flawed.

It’s the only thing closing my tear

ducts. They say it ’s easier to face 

other people’s problems because 

they distract us from our own demons. 

In my efforts to accentuate unconditional self-love, I present to you a road-map from the past, Saudade (Agape), and with extreme gratitude. It is the unspoken memoir for weary souls who seek refuge in nontraditional comfort and inspiration.  I encourage you to take solace in this retreat where I disclose the good and the bad things that happened in my life. I no longer desire to battle the thoughts; the voices alone. Today, I rise in peace; reflecting in the power of adversity and resiliency.

Saudade (Agape) is about struggle and pain, but it is also the catapult for transformation. I wrote this passage for the young and disadvantaged.  Agape is to negate any kind of selfless love and despite any misfortune, you deserve a safe haven to build confidence and rise above inferiority. You are probably asking yourself, who is Rashid White? Saudade (Agape) will not only show you who I am, but it guides you through a personal journey that empowers absolute self-love.  No matter what circumstances you have survived or currently laboring through, Saudade is the resource to unlock agape and secure a meaningful life.

I took refuge in confronting the innermost pains of life by way of flawed smiles and disenchanted laughter. Throughout my journey, life wasn't so kind and I was constantly forced to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Somehow, in the midst of all the discourse, I was able to overcome the trauma; the god forsaken internal pain.  For many years, I endured the kind of hardship that could have easily propelled me to a level of darkness, to where there was no return. 

Nevertheless, I did survive the traumas of childhood and beyond; emotional, mental and physical abuse that circumscribe open-ended gloom. For so many years, circumstances rendered me powerless and emotionless.  Inevitably, I opted to transform hardship into intuitive insight. I dare to showcase the advantages and power in resilience, of which you will experience in Saudade (Agape). 

In order to achieve a better balance and a sense of heightened well-being, I encourage you to be present in the moment.  I made a conscious effort to just be mindful. I focused on having  a moment-to-moment awareness that empowered me to reflect on all that I experienced without judgement. There is a silver lining in the Saudade experience that leverages positive awareness and self-discovery.

In my memoir of tragedy and triumph, I have painted a heroic picture that is sure to manifest wisdom and courage into your life, seamlessly comforting your wayward soul. Are you satisfied with who you see in the mirror? As of today, you are no longer marginalized by the intrusive livelihood you are accustomed to. In fact, as you read this, you will be empowered to get unstuck and master a sea of love, self-love.